While making the four hour drive back up to Newcastle a few weeks ago, I was listening to the Sunday chart countdown on Radio1. Somewhere in the charts, 'I Don't Mind' by Usher (feat. Juicy J) started playing. If I hadn't been on the motorway, I feel like I almost would have pulled over in sheer shock at the lyrics that came through my radio; instead, I just turned it up to check that I was hearing correctly...
Shawty, I don't mind If you dance on a pole
That don't make you a hoe
Shawty, I don't mind when you workin' til three
If you're leaving with me
This was my initial reaction. WTF. Did I just hear this right? Then this...
You can twerk it while in a split, you racking up them tips
Your body rock and your booty poppin', I'm proud to call you my bitch
They be lookin', but they can't touch you, shawty, I'm the only one to get it
So just go ahead and keep doing what you're doing
Now, call me a prude, but since when was it OK for a huge internationally-recognised celebrity to endorse women to be strippers?! Maybe it's tongue-in-cheek, but I find that hard to swallow. The song goes on to talk about how this woman is making "money, money, money" and seemingly she is handling her "biz". Is this supposed to paint a picture of an empowered woman? Surely we are far enough on in time for a woman to make money and be deemed a successful, career woman without it having to involve her taking her clothes off for tips?
Not long after, I hear this gem from David Guetta and Nicki Minaj:
Yes I do the cooking
Yes I do the cleaning
Plus I keep the na-na real sweet for your eating
Yes you be the boss and yes I be respecting
Whatever that you tell me cause it's game you be spitting
Best believe that, when you need that
I'll provide that, you will always have it
I'll be on deck, keep it in check
When you need that, I'ma let you have it
WTAF???
Again. Please tell me that women are past trying to be the perfect specimen for her man to come home to? I get it, I've been there and those were the days when I was trying so hard to be something I wasn't, desperately trying to get the attention of a man who made me feel that just being myself wasn't enough. I spent hours analysing photos of celebrities that I knew he fancied, how they did their hair and makeup, what they wore, even how they spoke, not realising that actually, if I didn't feel good enough for him now, then I never would, no matter how hard I tried.
But lyrics like this - "Yes you be the boss and yes I be respecting whatever that you tell me" - make me wonder what young girls these days are subjecting themselves to. I have no doubt that porn is more rife than ever amongst younger boys than ever and subsequently, girls are being faced with an impossible feat. To become the "perfect" sexual specimen.
If we take a look at female celebrities who embody today's modern woman we think of the likes of Beyonce, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, Iggy Azalea, Miley Cyrus. Women that present themselves like this:
- Rihanna
Now, these women are role models to billions of young, susceptible females all over the world, but what I wonder is, what sort of example is it that they're trying to represent? The act of "twerking" is something that has exploded into the media lately and is something which, on the face of it, seems to illustrate an empowered, sexual woman. But is overtly sexual dancing and lyrics on stage, in music videos, lap dancing, pole dancing, twerking etc. really an example of strength and power?! Or is it merely a modernised version of strip clubs and brothels - is the fact that we (as women) are now able to do and talk about these things so graphically and publicly without fear of judgement an actual victory for women or are we just strolling gladly and voluntarily into the trap instead of being thrown into it against our will?! i.e. "I'm not taking my clothes off and dancing like a stripper because you told me to, but because I want to!"
Annie Lennox: “Listen, twerking is not feminism. Thats what I’m referring to. It’s not—it’s not liberating, it’s not empowering. It’s a sexual thing that you’re doing on a stage; it doesn’t empower you. That’s my feeling about it.”
Now, some might say that the likes of twerking illustrates the woman's freedom to be sexual and liberal. Is this feminism?
Feminism is a well-documented legal and philosophical movement. Twerking is a dance but borrows from the idea that women should be able to be sexual creatures. Is liberation what feminism is all about? Feminism is to define, establish, and achieve equal political, economic, cultural, personal, and social rights for women, includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment. So, are these women standing up for these rights that feminists have toiled and died for for centuries or are they actual not a portrayal of a feminist, but a "modern woman"? Who is a fierce, erotic being who can have sex like a man (figuratively), fight like a man and rap like a man?
My circle of friends are all beautiful, strong-minded, self-sufficient women, with good careers, great personalities, not overtly sexual, but nonetheless absolutely attractive to men. Even as I write this, I wonder why I chose to include the part about us being attractive to men. Why should that even be a factor? Apart from the fact that, at the end of the day, we all hope to find someone to settle down with. But not at the cost of sacrificing our own identity or succumbing to the media's perception of what makes a woman "sexy". Coming out of an emotionally and physically abusive relationship, I now realise that my firm mind and constant desire to speak it and stand up for myself was 9 times out of 10 what caused our fights due to my partner's inability to cope with those aspects of my personality. He once told me that "if you go on like a bloke, I'll treat you like one."
Interesting. "Go on like a bloke". So to speak up, stand up for yourself, be seen as well as heard is to act like a man as opposed to being a nice, quiet, feminine woman?
I don't think I have a conclusion for this, I'm just exasperated. Getting older has encouraged me to care less about what others think and focus on myself, fulfilling my own desires as opposed to a man's. I think that there is a balance somewhere between a Lena Dunham feminist type and the modern-day, overtly sexual or masculinised woman such as Rihanna, tattooed with guns and constantly pictured topless and smoking weed. As long as your voice is your own and the choices you make aren't pre-determined by what someone else is telling you is sexy or attractive or acceptable, then to me, that's a strong, powerful woman - or man.
Where do you stand? x
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