How to do Christmas cliches in 12 festive steps:
- 1. Buy over-priced baubles from Fenwick (other over-priced retailers are available)
2. Oddly decorate a random surface-top, involving bits of bark and dried plants
3. Buy a cute fluffy kitten or borrow one from a friend (BEWARE: they're not as cute as they look!). Place under Christmas tree for good measure
4. Scented candles with odd, nonsensical titles, such as "Frosted Spruce" (these will also be required for disguising litter tray odours, if cliche above is adhered to)
- 5. Watch a strange, old movie. I was convinced to watch 'A Never Ending Story' for the first time. I must admit, I was overwhelmed with questionable emotion by the end - spurred on by lines such as Why don't you do what you dream?
- 6. Buy a ridiculous T-Shirt. This one was courtesy of ASOS
- 7. Decorate tree.
N.B. if you have bought or borrowed kitten as advised, be prepared to not get attached to tree - you will wake up to it in a devastating heap more than once.
- 8. Buy strange tasting red stuff that disguises itself as wine, watch A Christmas Carol (2009 version recommended)
- 9. Embrace your inner disney princess.
- 10. Purchase oddly shaped breakfast foods
- 11. Buy further more curiously-named candles (e.g "Majestic Fir")
- 12. Get involved with the macaroon craze (FYI, orange ones are the best)
SEASONS GREETINGS!
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