N.B. This post will probably read much more powerfully if imagined spoken over Baz Luhrmann's 'Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)'.
This post is dedicated to my future self, to remind me of some valuable life lessons that I have learnt recently. Why wait until you're in your sixties to look back forlornly on your life and think upon all the things that you could, should, would have done differently?
1. TAKE NO SHIT.
As I've got older, I've really learnt to stand up for myself and not worry so much about how it might make me look when I do. This will be encouraged if you surround yourself with the right people. For example, I spent far too long with somebody who felt that I made social situations uncomfortable due to my inability to "hide my feelings". Of course, there is a time and a place to express your opinions, but when the time is right - why pretend? Life is too short to feel stifled, bullied and ignored.
2. IT'S OK NOT TO BE LIKED BY EVERYONE.
Seriously. This whole 'You Can't Sit With Us' craic, since when was it a good thing to be a standoffish bitch? If you're being made to feel left out of a group that, by their own admission, are too beautiful or too cool for you - chances are, you'll not want to be part of it anyway!
3. GO BACK TO DOING WHAT YOU USED TO LOVE.
Recently, I have re-ignited my love affair with reading and writing. As a child, my life's ambition was to be a famous author and at the age of about 12, used to write books with sequels for my friends to read and review. Although gaining 100% in my A Level English Literature paper, when I went onto study it at Uni, somewhere along the way I lost my love for it and started questioning where it would lead me in life. After four years of flitting between jobs, I've finally returned to my true passion. These things you used to love are probably the things that inspired you before you became too obsessed with the opposite sex, the way you look and being popular. Probably the things that make you look like a geek as a child. In reality, these passions are the things that make you unique, interesting and even successful in later life.
4. IT'S OK TO BE DIFFERENT.
Don't be afraid to be different. There will always be people out there who love you for who you are. Don't spend your time trying to be someone who you're never going to be. That person probably has their own issues to contend with anyway. When you find people who really get you and love those parts of you that you secretly like about yourself but were too afraid to show, those are the people who will bring you out of yourself and make you achieve things you never thought possible. Remember, you have to be odd to be number one.
5. PUSH YOURSELF.
There is a quote that states that your life begins at the end of your comfort zone. Corny, but true. Again, this will become so much easier to do depending on who you surround yourself with. The people around you should encourage, not hinder you, to do the things you always wanted to do, but didn't think you could. It's all in your state of mind!
6. IT'S ALRIGHT NOT TO SPEND 24/7 WITH YOUR OTHER HALF.
I think you only feel like you can't be without your boyfriend/girlfriend if there are trust issues in the relationship or if you feel entirely dependant on that person, because you have no life outside of them. Being in a stable, loving, trusting relationship allows you to spend time with others and do separate things, without the fear of drifting apart. In reality, it will only bring you closer together.
7. MAKE AN EFFORT WITH YOUR FRIENDS.
It's so easy to get wrapped up in your own little world, especially as you get older and have work commitments or live with your lesser half, but you should never be too busy to get in touch with your best friends, even if it's just a text, a phone call or popping round for a cup of tea. I've never valued my friends as much as I do now that I'm older and there is nothing like a girly chat for a few hours to make you feel sane again.
8. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BASE EVERY DECISION ON WHETHER OR NOT IT WILL MAKE YOUR PARENTS PROUD.
...if they love you (and hopefully they do), they will be proud of you no matter what you do, as long as you're happy. I spent too long wondering at every twist and turn whether or not my decisions were the right ones. The longer you spend questioning your decisions, the less time you have either to enjoy them or change them. While your parents only want the best for you, you're the only one who can live your own life, no-one else can tell you what's best for you, even your mum and dad.
9. BE PROUD OF YOURSELF.
Another thing that I've learnt lately is that it's OK to blow your own trumpet sometimes! If you've done something you're proud of, acknowledge that achievement! I was always waiting and hoping for praise, especially in the workplace and when you don't get it, it can be so disheartening and quite often put you off making the effort in future. Encourage yourself, you can't rely on others to do that for you. If you can recognise your own abilities, the more likely you are to pave your own way and not be swayed by other people telling you you can't succeed.
10. PERSONALITY ALWAYS WINS OVER LOOKS.
Like most girls, I spent my youth plastering myself with makeup. This only got worse when I moved up to Newcastle and was confronted with a city full of hair extensions, false eye lashes, whitened teeth and flawless complexions. As I've got older, I've become more comfortable in my own skin and really learnt the value of kindness, empathy and a sense of humour over beauty. Personality is key in the workplace, in relationships and in friendships. People will soon suss you out if you have nothing to contribute but your looks. I will always find it more satisfying to be complimented on my personality than my outfit.
x
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